Finding last known reset point.

It started with the need to make it to Christmas, then make it to the end of January…then the relaxation would begin, at least that was the plan. December was a blur of deadlines parties and presentations. It seemed as if the ‘end’ would never arrive and when it did… I crashed, not in the physical sense, but pretty much in every other way…dscf5332

3 weeks of stress in January and then I was sitting in Heathrow waiting for a flight to Japan. Of course I had great plans, I always have great plans, then well… things happen, I make excuses in my head, justify why I can’t do the things I had planned and somehow I manage to convince myself that everything is indeed OK. This time was going to be different, of course it was, I was travelling on my own, I could plan my own time and I wanted to do this… right?

Why the need for change? Well you get to point I guess when you start to look at your life and think, what have I *actually* done? Who have I helped in life? Have I added value in any single way to the lives of those around me? I am not sure that I have at all… Now I am not about to go out and start randomly hugging folks, so maybe I am on the brink of the much fabled midlife crisis.. 🙂

My belief system tells me to start on the inside and work from there, so I was keen to put some pretty serious plans together and Okinawa was the point where I was going to put my planning into practice. Not even the week of the trip was I in a place to make all these things happen. Work had me running around like a blue arse fly and for some reason all the big internal presentations came in the same week. Oh, and to make life even more ‘interesting’ I had a medical procedure as well. Nothing huge but massively personal. So Okinawa was the big step change.

Well for once I have kept my plans… just a wee bit, but the big one, the dry January, that’s in the bag I have completely abstained and to add to that I am doing my meditation and eating the odd vegetable. Who knows, I might actually mange to find the ‘centre’ that the super balanced people talk about…

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