“You won’t say a world will ya”, I was with a friend who I can only describe as one of those eternally happy people, always ready to have a chat, who trusted way too quickly  and more than anything else, loved to gossip. He is, in my opinion,  a veritable scandal exchange server, who,  without realising it had just made my day.

His easy listening Irish accent, made the hustle and bustle of a rainy Wednesday in January melt away. “She is a mad one that one”, he went onto say, now clearly gathering storytelling momentum. “You couldn’t make this up you know”,  at this stage of the conversation I was very unclear as to what could possible be “made up” but my curiosity was well and truly engaged.

We were in a small London cafe, the sort that tries too hard to be cool, the haphazard furniture had no respect for private conversation and my friend was oblivious of the muttering tables around us, no his voice resonated for all to hear. It also, quickly became clear that the couple opposite to us were on, what looked like, a first date their conversation peppered with nervous giggles and clumsy interpersonal stroking (google it 🙂 ).

Averting my gaze from the confused body language across from me, I now *had* to focus on the conversation at hand and get my guest to volunteer his knowledge. Now whilst he did enjoy a good opportunity to have a chat, he was also quite loyal so getting to the nub of the matter was not going to be easy and any direct questioning would only result in vague answers without any tantalizing substance!

Why all the interest? Well our mutual friend was someone I had known for a while, but actually, when it came to it, I couldn’t think of why we were friends. She was the sort of person who was perfect in every way, the sort who always lands on her feet, no matter what is thrown her way. Her husband was the strong silent type who could probably hunt with his bare hands and build a house from scratch. Yet, even with all this, oh and a figure to die for… she was what can only be described as aloof. That’s putting it mildly but it’s a good starting point if taking the politically correct route.

Now all I had to do was get the low down… The conversation roamed for what felt like ages, I was careful not to question too much or seem overly keen when all the while I want to just come out right and ask the obvious…

Eventually we reached a stalemate, no prizing was going to release the information jewel so I gave up, to finish the conversation I merely suggested, “You are not going to tell me she went off and had an affair are you”. Bingo. All it took to confirm my suspicions was a wince and I was onto my next question… Who???

“I am not gonna tell you anymore… I’ve said enough”, he had in fact not said anything merely confirmed my suspicions and my head was swimming…I made a few guesses and Lord Above… more wincing and wriggling… I had it. Now this was not the conversation that I thought I was going to have at all, far from it, now I felt… dirty. This was the sort of information that would end a marriage, I wished I had never found out.

Who knows if the couple opposite picked up on the change of tone but they looked as if they had run out of conversation and started to depart.

“She’s an odd one, I couldn’t believe it myself when I saw it, you won’t tell anyone will ya?”,